Top 5 Posts of 2014

I can't believe it's December! Sam and I have been home in Montreal for 10 days and Charlie arrives at the end of this week. It's a busy and tiring time, so I opted for a Throwback (not Thursday) blog post.

I have so enjoyed writing the blog this year and having conversations about various issues and posts with friends and family. Here are the 5 blog posts that were viewed the most in 2014, enjoy!

#1
Sometimes Cambodia looks like Hawaii
Grappling with how people view our work and lives overseas

#2
Things I do in Cambodia that could get me arrested in Canada
AKA Things that keep my Mom's prayer life rich and committed

#3
How to Survive a Long-Haul Flight with a Toddler
A guide on travelling long distances with small people

#4

Oui, Allo?
How calling and passion are beautifully intertwined

#5
Regarding Somaly Mam
Reflections on the popular activist's fall from grace

4 signs my TCK may not completely fit in in Canada

Sam has lived in Cambodia since she was 9 months old, everything she remembers is here. In preparing to go home for half a year, I've been noticing some things about her that may seem strange to Canadians and may get us and her labelled "eccentric."

The only modes of transportation she knows are motos and tuktuks. In fact, one of her current ambitions is to drive a tuktuk "when she is older." I'm thinking getting her into a car seat may prove a tad difficult.

On a recent excursion to Silk Island, Sam got to "drive" the tuktuk, sitting in
front of the driver as he slowly made his way down the dirt road as we walked beside.

She takes off her shoes whenever she enters an indoor space. Because that's what you do. Even at the Chab Dai office, everyone walks around barefoot, and there is are shelves of shoes outside. The other day we went into the supermarket, where one leaves one's shoes on, of course, and she sat by the door and took off her shoes and left them there! I can just imagine her doing that with her winter boots and socks when we go to IGA or Costco back in Montreal!

Our new boots, ready to be winter worn!

"Cold" for Sam is when the air con is on. Wearing socks is only for when we go to Monkey Business (kids play gym) where socks are required. And she wants to wear a sweater on mornings when there is a warm breeze floating across the balcony.

Earlier this year, we went to Sri Lanka and hiked to World's End. It was
bright, sunny, and 15 degrees Celsius, and we were freezing!!

She has picked up a few, umm, interesting habits as a TCK in Cambodia. She has an adorable and strange accent when she says certain words and phrases (sometimes a Khmer accent, sometimes a French accent). And some less charming habits. We were sitting in the Russian Market the other day enjoying a mid-errand lime juice when my darling toddler actually "hawked a loogie" and spit it on the floor of the market! Straight faced, completely nonchalant, leaving Charlie and I to stare in shock at what had just transpired. I am crossing my fingers and hoping she does not do something like that back home!

So if you see her doing something strange or unusual in Canada, just chalk it up to growing up in Cambodia! (And not at all to her weird parents, ok?!)

A Day in the Life

I like my job. It's about the least sexy job in counter-trafficking or development in general, but I enjoy it a lot. Because it's not a sexy job, I often don't talk about what it entails. So in an attempt to share what I do on a day-to-day basis, here is a day in my life in pictures. Because my moto has been finicky these days, I took a tuktuk around to my appointments yesterday and whipped my iPhone out to capture the day (very carefully, so as to not get my phone snatched, an unfortunate but common occurrence these days in Phnom Penh).

After kissing Sam and Charlie goodbye, I hopped in a tuktuk to head up to the north end of the city for my first meeting. I went over the brand new overpass on the way! This cuts down transit times significantly for people commuting from the north to downtown. Don't get me wrong, though, it's still far, around 40 minutes one-way from my place.

As we entered Toul Kork, where I had my meeting, I suffered minor culture shock at the gated communities and manicured lawns. I love living in Toul Tompong, but green space and huge villas are not something our neighbourhood is known for.

I got to the cafe where I had my meeting, and got stood up, due to a scheduling mix up... on their part, not mine. People are perpetually busy and missing meetings happens. So instead, I worked on other things for the morning. I am consulting for Chab Dai's Charter project, an organisational development and capacity building project mainly for our local, grassroots members. I am currently drafting a proposal on the project's second phase around engaging organisations in peer mentoring and support. It ended up being a very productive morning!

At lunchtime I hopped back in a tuktuk back to my end of the city. My tuktuk driver took some interesting "short-cuts" through parts of the city I had never seen, past ubiquitous construction sites that pepper the city...

...and past pagodas, alleyways, and abandoned train tracks.

And I went to lunch with a friend who is transitioning to consultancy work and wanted to pick my brain about the consulting world in Cambodia and at a couple specific NGOs. We chatted about negotiating terms and the pros and cons of being a consultant, and wandered into dreaming about starting businesses here. It was a great chat! And great food. All around a great lunch.

Meanwhile, Charlie had picked up Sam at school and brought her home for lunch and naptime. I got home to relieve him so he could go back to work for the afternoon. Sam slept while I set up to work at home.

We don't have an office, and my pregnancy ankles needed some reprieve, so I set up on my bed. I switched modes from Chab Dai work to World Vision work for the afternoon.

I'm just starting a study with World Vision's Child Protection Unit on how to provide care and services for child survivors of sex trafficking in the community (as opposed to institutional care). I'll be interviewing experts, foster families, and children to map out best practices and existing services. Right now I'm writing the literature review in order to inform interview questions and see how we can adapt learning from other parts of the world and similar sectors to this new initiative.

In the late afternoon (Sam naps and then plays alone in her bedroom for quite a while each day) Sam came out and was ready to play, so we changed into our bathing suits and chased each other around the balcony with a spray bottle. It was awesome!

Then we dried off, snuggled for a bit, and went downstairs, where Sam "cleaned" while we waited for Charlie to get home from work. 

Supper, family time, and early to bed for me and Squeege. And that was my day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I am thankful for our Canadian Phnom Penh family! We had a wonderful Thanksgiving party at a local restaurant, with amazing food (I seriously wanted to sink my face into the pumpkin pie), good company, laughter, and lots of toddlers running around. What a blessing to be able to celebrate a home holiday with these great friends. Here are some pics of the events.

The beautifully set table and people arriving

Charlie and some good friends

Julia and some good friends 

Sam at the craft table making her pumpkin collage, wearing her turkey hat

Another "craft" the kids worked on

The group, so many awesome Canadians here in Phnom Penh!

What's in your backpack?

As part of our home group's series on Pilgrimage, Charlie and I led our meeting yesterday on the "Journey of Simplicity." There is so much that can be done on the topic and we took a while to settle on which part of "simplicity" we were going to focus on.

Part of what we focused on was to go back to our core selves and think about what is that makes up what we truly "need." Charlie read a chapter from A Way: The Story of a Long Walk, a wonderful book written by my own incredibly talented sister, Jenna Smith, called "The Backpack." And we used the idea of a backpack as a metaphor for reflecting on and discussing what we carry in our life/faith journey's backpack. Things that weight us down, things we would prefer to discard, things we absolutely need and help along the way.

It's such a good book! You should read it!

We talked a lot about relationships, family, God, faith - all good and necessary things in our backpacks. But we also talked about hurts and past mistakes that we continue to carry with us. One big one was grief and mourning. Grief is a natural part of life, but we agreed that living overseas, ongoing grief is a big part of our lives and much closer to the surface. We are constantly having to say goodbye to dear friends, friends who become more like family in this context, and it is an ongoing struggle to hold those relationships with open hands.

We also talked about deferred mourning, for family members, such as grandparents, who pass away "back home," and if we're unable to travel home for the funeral, it often doesn't really become real until we go home and they are no longer there. I have experienced this a little with the passing of grandmother at the end of last year. I know she's gone, but I sometimes catch myself thinking about seeing her when we go home at Christmas. 

We carry these things with us, and all the emotions that go along with them. The battle of feeling torn between two worlds, the relationships that are so encouraging but sometimes come with expectations we may not be ready to meet, the past mistakes that, although forgiven, still weigh on us many years later. 

So, what's in your backpack? What do you need to carry with you in order to ease the journey? What do you wish you could discard from the backpack and leave behind?

The Gratitude Challenge

Along with many others, I have been "nominated" to do the Gratitude Challenge. Accepted! Every day this week I've written down three things I am thankful for - here they are!

Monday:

1. An AMAZING church/home group community here in Phnom Penh. I feel challenged, heard, and loved by this group, and even though the transience that is normal of expat community is difficult, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
2. Skype, What's App, Facebook, email: they don't (and can't) replace in-person conversations and quality time, but they sure make living on the other side of the world more bearable.
3. Air conditioning. I know this might sound frivolous but I really don't think my Canadian body will ever truly adapt to the tropical climate! Now that I'm pregnant, I appreciate it all the more, and I am thankful that we can afford to live in and go to places that have air con.

Home group trip to Kep, on the Cambodian seaside, in February of this
year. The transience of expat life is demonstrated by the fact that half
this group is no longer in Cambodia! We are so grateful for this
community, whether they are here or not!

Tuesday:

1. A healthy foetus. Every time I go to a prenatal appointment, I am so thankful that Squeege is growing, moving, and healthy. S/he is a wiggler, just like Saméa was... very suspicious ;)
2. A toddler who sleeps long and well: We made sure of this from a very young age and I am so thankful we did! She goes to bed around 6:30 every night and sleeps (or stays in her room) until past 7:00 every morning - what a joy!
3. A wonderful husband who loves being a father: I love that we take equal responsibility in childcare, and how his (and our) worldview on marriage and parenting mean that I get to develop in my career while also having young children. I am keenly aware that I am of a privileged society and generation that enables this worldview.

My beautiful family, for whom I am thankful every day!

Wednesday:

1. A career where I often feel challenged: even though consultancy work sometimes wears on me, I am grateful for the opportunities to stretch myself and learn as I go. This week I am writing an NGO partnership contract full of legal jargon, leading a Focus Group Discussion on Khmer staff perceptions of volunteer impact, completing a Letter of Interest for a grant for organisational development and capacity building, and finalising the preliminary framework for a macro-assessment database on the Cambodian development landscape. Definitely enough to keep me busy!
2. A stimulating and fun book club with my Chab Dai colleagues: every Wednesday, we get together for lunch to discuss our current chapter. We vote on which books to read and take turns leading discussion. So far this year we've read Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (see our team's blog post about it here) and Brysk & Choi-Fitzpatrick's From Human Trafficking to Human Rights. This week we're starting Prahalad's The Fortune at the Bottom of the Pyramid.
3. The freedom to dream about where my career is headed: unlike many people around the world, I will not have to have the same job my whole life. I have plans and dreams and I can make them happen. Yes, I work hard, but I am also just really lucky to have been born and raised in a country and family that gave me opportunities to learn and grow and build a good resume. And for that I am incredibly grateful.

Our weekly Chab Dai book club meeting at Alma Cafe

Thursday:

1. All the wonderful ladies in my life! I have a group of best friends back home who have loved and accepted me for over a decade, and still keep in touch even though I live across the ocean. I also have amazing girlfriends here in Phnom Penh who understand me and do life with me in such beautiful and authentic ways. 
2. The women in my family, especially my Mom, who have shown me what it means to be a strong woman, how to live out my faith in deep ways, how to pursue excellence and honesty. 
3. My Dad: For raising my sisters and me with "I love you more today than I did yesterday and there is nothing you can ever do to change my love for you" and giving us the choice between the oak tree and the flower. For continuing to challenge me and allowing himself to be challenged by me. For being a feminist without needing the label. 

With my Mom and sisters in Hawaii last year

Friday:

1. My Christian upbringing: some say that the only reason I am a Christian as an adult is because I was raised Christian and, frankly, I don't care. Aren't we all influenced in some way by the values and habits that were instilled in us as children? I am thankful that my parents raised me to know and experience God's grace, and also taught me to think critically so I could make my faith my own.
2. Books: All the books! I am grateful for being literate and able to enjoy, learn from, and lose myself in books. Fiction, non-fiction, theological, fun, challenging - I love being a reader! I guess that's why I'm already in two book clubs and want to start a third!
3. Airplanes: When Charlie's grandparents left Manitoba with their kids and headed to Greece to work with MCC, not only did the journey take days and days, but they left knowing they would not see their friends and family for years to come. Even though we can't afford to fly home as often as we would like, it is much easier and more realistic to see our home community more often. We have a couple friends who have already been to see us twice in 2 years! How amazing is that?!

Yes, this is me reading an e-book on the laptop.
It was a graphic novel and the pages were bigger
and better by turning the laptop sideways!

So that's it! Just a few of the things that I am thankful for. How about you?

September 2014 Newsletter

Books We Love

Charlie and I both LOVE to read. Our reading styles are very different; if I love what I'm reading, I'll say, "Charlie, you have to read this book!" upon which he will either later read or not read the book in question. On the other hand, if Charlie is enjoying what he's reading, he likes to interrupt whatever I'm doing to read whole excerpts aloud to me, upon which I either graciously stop what I'm doing and listen, or snap, "Just a minute!" and proceed to listen or not listen to what he's saying.

It's not a perfect system. But we're working on it.

And we both LOVE to read!

And so, in honour of our love of the written word, here are our respective Top 10 Books That Have Had a Lasting Impact on Our Lives.

Julia

It took me a while to be OK with making this list, and then I remembered that I don't have to commit to it forever and ever, and I acknowledge that it may change, A LOT, in years to come. My main method for choosing my books was to choose ones that I enjoy going back to read wether in whole or in part, or books that touched me deeply and I kept thinking about long after finishing them. So here goes, and in no particular order:

1. Walking With the Poor: Principles and Practices of Transformational Development by Bryant Myers
2. Development as Freedom by Amartya Sen
3. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
4. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
5. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
6. Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard J. Foster
7. The Problem of Pain by C. S. Lewis
8. The Giver by Lois Lowry
9. Poor Economics: A Radical Rethinking of the Way to Fight Global Poverty by Abhijit V. Banerjee & Esther Duflo
10. The Holy Bible, New Revised Standard Version

Charlie

1. Dune by Frank Herbert 
2. Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
3. Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Friere
4. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
5. Development as Freedom by Amartya Sen
6. Walking with the Poor by Bryant L. Myers
7. Ordering your Private World by Gordon MacDonald
8. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
9.  Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
10. The End of Poverty by Jeffrey Sachs

Things I do regularly in Cambodia that could get me arrested in Canada

AKA "Things that keep my Mom's prayer life rich and committed" (you're welcome, Mom!)

• Driving into oncoming traffic: The easiest way to turn a corner here is to hug the corner closely and weave your way through traffic into your desired lane, even if that means turning left into oncoming traffic. Linked to this is a nonchalance about having other vehicles driving towards me in my lane of traffic. I think it makes my driving better and instincts more alert!
• Wearing my toddler in a backpack carrier, while driving my moto: She still wears a helmet! And this is better than the alternatives other Khmer families opt for, including having small children stand between the driver and the passenger.
• Jay walking: OK, I wouldn't get arrested for this one back home, but here I am taking my life in my hands a little more by doing it. You see, as a pedestrian, I am never afforded right of way, but instead am seen as the very bottom of the road traffic food chain. Bicycles, motos, tuktuks, cars, SUVs, and trucks are all above me and, therefore, see no need to stop to let me cross. I see my jay walking in Montreal as a kind of soft training for Phnom Penh jay walking.
• I let restaurant staff take care of my toddler while I eat: Maybe I should be teaching my daughter a little more about stranger danger, but it's just so nice to walk into a restaurant and have her whisked away into the kitchen or other room to be entertained and fawned over while Charlie and I have a nice quiet meal. Who turns down free childcare?
• We rarely put our toddler in a car seat: We rarely travel in cars, but when we do we're either going somewhere in town in a friend's car or in a hired van to go out of town, and in both cases, there is rarely enough room to put a car seat and all the passengers. So lap sitting it is. She's in for a rude awakening when we go back to Canada.

I do not feel cavalier about many of these things, some I am 100% fine with, others make me a little nervous. On the one hand, it's nice to live somewhere where regulations haven't gone completely crazy. On the other, I am keenly aware that there are more traffic-related accidents and deaths in Cambodia than anywhere else in the region. This is just the way we live. We are as careful as the circumstances allow, and trust our family will be protected. 

How to Survive a Long-Haul Flight with a Toddler

In Winker Wonker's short life, she has taken over 20 flights and is becoming quite the jet setter. And we've learned (mostly the hard way) some of the ins and outs of travelling long distance with a baby/toddler.

Her first trip was at 3 months, first to Victoria to visit
her Auntie Christa and then on to Winnipeg to meet
all of Charlie's family. On each of the four legs, she screamed
bloody murder for the first 10 minutes, and then settled down,
much the relief of myself and probably all the passengers.
The Air Canada flight attendants were all fantastic, especially for
flights up until Winnipeg, when I was travelling alone with her.
She was cuddled and cooed at by a large number of Air
Canada employees and they went out of their way to give us
good seats, allowed me to have a seat next to me for free for
her car seat, and held her while I settled in on each flight.

A lot of the "travel with children" advice I have found on Pinterest and various parenting/travel blogs function on the assumption that you are flying from one part of Canada or the U.S. to another part of Canada or the U.S. And, honestly, I can't help but laugh out loud at parents complaining about or dreading a 3.5 hour direct flight with their toddler. OK, yes, travel of any length with a small child can prove hellish, but really, talk to me 24 hours into a 37 hour commute across the world.

Winker's first big plane trip was at 8.5 months when we moved to Cambodia.
After a 6 hour drive from Montreal to Toronto, we did 15 hours from Toronto to Taipei,
a 3 hour layover, then another 3 hours to Phnom Penh. The longer flight was tough,
but a cake walk compared to the second one, when she screamed the ENTIRE time.

So if you are planning to travel far with small but mobile children, probably with at least one layover, hopefully this post is for you! Bear in mind that my knowledge is mainly East/Southeast Asia-North America centric, but I think most of these tips can be generalised.

When I mentioned I was writing this post to a friend (who happens to not have any children yet), he asked, "Doesn't it mainly consist of: Step 1 - buy Children's Gravol; Step 2 - apply liberally?" If you're pressed for time and don't want to read the rest of the post, then YES! Medicate away! Unfortunately, even with copious amounts of Gravol, toddlers have a knack for a) reacting adversely to the drugs, b) throwing up the Gravol if prone to air sickness, and/or c) sleeping peacefully for part of a flight and then making up for lost time once awake.

Also, as many parents know, there's much more to air travel with a toddler than the time actually spent in the air.

Booking your flights:

• Most parents of toddlers with experience in long-haul flights that I have talked to have discovered it is actually much easier to fly during the day, rather than overnight. Despite our best intentions and wishes and prayers and pleading, toddlers will not go to sleep and sleep their regular night, just because the flight schedule coincides with their bedtime hour and sleep schedule. We used to be able to do this to some extent when Winker Wonker was a baby, but no more. Even if she does get some sleep, the best case scenario is you'll all get a couple hours here and there and arrive grumpy and sleep-deprived. This is bad enough when you're travelling alone, add an ornery 2-year-old to the mix... no fun. {More on sleeping below.}

• Your toddler no longer fits in the airline bassinet, but you can still try and snag some sweet bulkhead seats for the extra leg room and lots of floor space to play on. Sometimes you have to pay for these (which I would recommend!) but often if you show up early enough, parade your cute and oh-so-potentially-tantrum-having child in front of the check-in clerk, they may take pity on you and just give you the seats! A silver lining to having to pay for a seat for over-2-year-olds is the extra space, not to mention the extra checked and carry-on allowances.

• Make sure you book a toddler meal if it is available and, if your child still does fit in the bassinet, be double sure you book it way in advance. I have seen a single mother carry her child in a carrier for a 12-hour flight because she thought she could just request a bassinet at the gate counter, only to find out they were all booked - one by us, 4 months earlier... sorry! 

• Related to the above point, find out what is offered for people travelling with small children when you are comparing airlines. You might be surprised. For instance, EVA Air provides ALL DIAPERS and MILK (as well as food and toys) for the entire flight. Not having to travel with at least a dozen diapers in our carry-on was a Godsend!

Preparing for the flight:

• I would say a stiff drink and a Xanax, but I'm pretty sure it's illegal to give that stuff to a child.

• Goodbye, Ideals. OK, this one might be hard to swallow, and let me tell you, it was hard for me to come to terms with it, too. The best way you can prepare for and survive long-haul flights with a toddler is this: throw away all your parenting philosophies and discipline techniques. You like to keep your kid on a "3 meals/2 snacks per day" schedule? Give the sweetie a snack any time she asks for it. If you are breastfeeding, and you're down to a good 3 hour feeding routine? Nurse on demand (especially for takeoff and landing). You don't believe in allowing your child too much electronic device time? Run that baby until the battery dies (and praise the Lord if there's a charging outlet under your seat!)

• Nom, nom, nom. One thing I would say pack a lot of is snacks. Although airlines do provide food on longer flights, it's always helpful to have some of your child's favourite treats, so that 1) you know you'll have food along that she likes, and 2) you can use food as a calming/bribing/entertainment mechanism (Remember? This post is called How to Survive, not How to Stick to Your Guns on a Long-Haul Flight with a Toddler!)

• (Added since original post, with the help of a comment from a traveling parent) Always do pack Children's Tylenol, just in case your child does get sick on a flight. The only thing worse than having a feverish child at 35,000 feet is not being able to do anything about it! You might also want to travel with nasal decongestants and EarPlanes earplugs. As my commenter put it, "Kids Eustachian tubes are not fully developed and protecting their ears from air pressure changes is important."

Checking-in and boarding:

• I do not like arriving at the airport early. I would rather fly by the seat of my pants (no pun intended), rush through check-in and security and customs and get to the gate as people are boarding. My husband HATES that. One of the only ways we do not travel well together is the constant battle of the wills on when to leave for the airport. And then we had a kid. And husband won. Not only does getting to the airport early play in your favour for getting better seats {see above!} it can also be ridiculously stressful to navigate all the lines and waiting with a toddler and all her stuff. Seriously, I thought my sister accessorised. I guess it does get a little better when baby becomes toddler, but you're still managing a wriggling person, a stroller, her carry-ons as well as yours, jackets and sweaters, shoes that come off and are flung at will at the most inconvenient times, etc. You get the gist.

• Because you're getting to the airport early, chances are you'll get to your gate early as well, and you'll have to keep you kid entertained until your flight begins boarding. If you are travelling as a couple with a child, you can take turns sitting with the bags and walking/running/exploring the terminal with your toddler. If you're travelling with your child alone, keep a cart for as long as possible. We find it helpful to keep our toddler moving a lot, so that she tires herself out a bit before being forced into a confined space for many, many hours.

• You know when the gate clerk calls, "We will now be boarding elite, super elite, mega special elite, all awesome VIPs... and families with small children"? That's you, now!! Normally, I like waiting until most people have boarded before I do (honestly, I don't see what the rush is to get into an assigned-seating small space I will have to share with 150 people for 10 hours), but sometimes it is nice to take advantage of pre-boarding because it gives us time to get settled, put away our carry-ons, and organise ourselves for the flight. We try to have main things easily accessible: we put a few diapers, wipes, a drink and snack, a couple toys/books, and iPad in the seat pockets, and all the rest goes into the overhead compartment. If you have an extra seat, or are paying for one for an over-2-year-old, it is very convenient to put your main carry-on under the seat in front of her, having easier access to the bag while not impeding your own foot room.

Sleeping on the plane:

• Don't try. This one's a tough one, and I think the best way to approach it is to function under the assumption that your child will not sleep at all on a flight of any length. That way, if she does, you'll be pleasantly surprised! In our experience, getting Winker Wonder to sleep on a flight works best when we don't actually try and put her to sleep. We attempted doing a full bedtime routine on the flight, complete with changing into pyjamas, reading books, singing songs, and a bottle a milk, but she would have none of it. A lot of this has to do with her sleep style, which has always been to fall asleep alone in a dark room, so trying to get her to sleep in a lit cabin, surrounded by noises and people was not a good idea. On the other hand, when we just played quietly for a while, eventually she would tire herself out and go to sleep willingly. She has slept on a lot of flights, thanks to this "do nothing" method ;)

• Be wary of Gravol. Again, it depends on your kid, but in a lot of cases, toddlers have adverse reactions to baby Gravol or baby Tylenol. Instead of it making them groggy, they get as wired as a frat boy on uppers. We have given up on medicating our toddler on flights; at best it has done nothing. If your toddler is prone to motion sickness, though, Gravol can be very effective at preventing a vomit-everywhere situation, which nobody likes. For a great post on traveling with sickness-prone children, see this Babble article, Kids Who Vomit on Airplanes - and the Parents Who Travel With Them. (Added since original post) If you do have a child prone to travel or air sickness, you might want to pack an extra change of clothes, not just for the child, but for yourself as well!

Entertaining your toddler:

• Keep it Simple. There are so many sites with advice on what to bring in your carry-on for a toddler. On our first trip back to North America when Winker was 19 months old, we overpacked our carry-on with all kinds of fun things to keep her busy for the 10 flights we were planning for various legs of out trip. In the end, we actually ended up not even using most of them. I have one word: iPad. It will save your life. There are awesome toddler Apps and videos available for free, fill up your device before you go, you will not regret it! Our darling also played for hours at a time with the playdough we brought, was even happier when we played with her. Most of the other stuff we brought she used maybe once, if at all. One piece of advice that worked like a charm was to buy a new toy and present it to your toddler partway through a flight. She loved the novelty of the toy and played much longer with it than she did with her other "old toys." We found one new toy kept its novelty over many flights in the same trip, as long as we kept it in the carry-on and only took it out for flights.

If you want some entertainment ideas for flights with

toddlers, check out my Pinterest board. I've checked out

all the pins on the board, and only pinned the best ones.

Layovers:

• Activities galore. Sometimes you can't really choose your layovers, especially if you're trying to book the cheapest or fastest trip. Normally I would go for shortish layovers (2-3 hours if you don't have to pick up and re-check your luggage, enough time to get to your next gate), but sometimes that's just not possible. If I have the option of two similar length layovers, I will often go for the "funnest" airport. The Seoul airport is probably the best in the world for kids, including play areas, comfy chairs, an arts and crafts station, regular parade shows by "Korean royalty," and even free showers! If it's between this and just struggling to find an uncomfortable plastic seat to lay out on for 6 hours in a different airport, I would pay the slightly higher ticket price to go through Seoul.

Making friends at the Seoul airpport

• To hotel or not to hotel. Sometimes, arriving to your layover destination in the evening and catching your next flight in the morning is the best case scenario. Especially if you arrive just shortly before your child's regularly scheduled bedtime. Full night sleep potential! Even if you have a shortish layover (5-8 hours) I would absolutely suggest staying at an airport hotel. Back when you were 21 and backpacking around the world, with only some dreds and your parents' emergency credit card to your name, sure, you could sleep on the floor of an airport waiting for your next flight. No more. For your child's sake, for your sanity's sake, just book the hotel. Some airlines, like Qatar Airways, if you book the right flight class or just get some really nice customer service agent on the phone, will provide a hotel room for free if your layover is over a certain number of hours. Something else to take into account when comparing airlines.

Jetlag:

• Whereas for short flights one can prepare to a certain extent for changes in time zones, when you're traveling to the other side of the world, there is very little you can do to prepare your child for the time difference. There is literally 12 hours difference between Montreal and Phnom Penh, so we just prepare to have our lives and schedules turned upside down for a while upon arrival. Honestly, in most cases, our daughter adjusted faster than we did!

• Once you have arrived, there is a tricky balance to be struck with going with the flow and trying to reestablish a healthy routine. We try to get back to our daughter's sleep/eat/play schedule as soon as possible, while not being too hard on her and understanding that her body and mind are very confused. 

If you travel long distances with small children, do you have anything to add? What is your best advice for first-time long-haul flight traveling parents? Leave your comments below!

The Importance of a Learning Spirit

Originally published at Along the Paths of Justice, the Chab Dai team blog

Charlie and I recently met with two social entrepreneurs from Australia who are interested in replicating their very successful social enterprise cafés in Cambodia as a transitional employment and training venture for survivors of trafficking and exploitation. So much of our conversation was inspiring and interesting I thought it should be shared!

Their original idea coming in was to run a four-story center, including large café, training center, and housing for their employees. Through our conversation, and the couple others they had had in the less than 24 hours since they arrived in Cambodia, their minds were already changing to adapt to the environment!

Although he now works for an NGO, the lead on this project is first and foremost a businessman, and knows this is where his strengths lie! And he really loved Chab Dai’s ethos of collaboration, and the idea of sticking to one’s core competencies. When he heard that we already have a number of aftercare program members, whose competencies lie in counseling, trauma recovery, and survivor reintegration, he quickly started to re-evaluated his plan, and started thinking about how to build a business that could support those organizations.

He was also told by a number of people that sit-down, higher end cafés have already saturated the market in Phnom Penh, but when he visited a well located gas station coffee counter and saw a hundred clients waiting for coffee at 8:00 a.m., he knew this model could be successful in other key areas of the city.

They also recognize Cambodia has the largest number of NGOs of almost any country in the world and prefer to join the cause as a socially minded business, rather than an NGO doing business. One of their top priorities is financial sustainability, and using business to prepare young survivors to integrate into mainstream economic activity.

This new social business idea is still in its nascent stages, but what I loved about meeting these two visionaries were their flexibility and willingness to learn in a new environment. They are excellent at what they do in Australia, but recognize they need to adapt their model, marketing, and plan to the needs of both the Cambodian market and the survivor group with which they want to work.

This is the type of collaboration and open-mindedness we love to see in our partners, and we are excited to see the direction that they will take when they finalize their plans.

Interested in Volunteering Abroad?

Interested in volunteering abroad?

I just spoke with a group that was visiting Chab Dai last week. They were a small group of 2 leaders and 4 students who were spending 3 months living in Vietnam and taking short trips to other nearby countries to learn about the different ways that they could live overseas. As part of our chat, after talking about what Chab Dai does, and the usual presentation, they asked about what my recommendations were for an individual looking to spend time overseas.

Since a lot of my interactions with expats is with volunteers, I thought I’d give a couple of points on how to get the most out of your overseas volunteering – from my own experience, obviously.

First, do something you’re good at. At Chab Dai, we’ve had two highly skilled volunteers this year, one retiree who worked with our staff on leadership and mentored our managers, and one young man who decided to volunteer with us before starting his PhD who has focused on various research projects. Both of these individuals came to us and asked if we could use their skills, and in both cases they have made a giant impact in our projects, simply because they asked if they could use their skills with us.

Secondly, stay a while. The biggest factor I’ve seen in generating interest about a volunteer has been  how long that person is willing to stay. Many people want to volunteer in the 1-3 month range, and while some of these people can have a positive effect on an organization, having someone come for 6 months is often far more appealing. The learning curve can be easier, the chance of burnout is probably lower, and it just gives the hosts a bit more wiggle room.

Finally, create a relationship. One big reason for hosting a volunteer is the hope that the volunteer will continue to spread news about the organization, stay in contact with them, find ways to fundraise, and to send other, worthwhile volunteers. The more you know an organization before you go abroad, the easier it will be to stay connected with them down the road. As a volunteer coordinator, I’ve developed a couple of key relationships with churches and volunteer organizations that have led to some fantastic volunteers, and I’m always looking for more ways to partner up.

So that’s my initial thoughts on things to consider if you want to go volunteer somewhere. Got any questions?

Charlie