A while ago I was talking to Christa, my sister, and she asked me if I had cried a lot since I had been in Cambodia, seeing as the field we're working in is so desperate and seemingly hopeless at times. She knows me well, I am a big crier, but her question took me off guard and I realised that, no, I haven't cried more than my usual since we've been here. I told her, "I'm too angry to cry."
John Stott said, "Vision begins with a holy discontent with the way things are." I feel a great passion for what I'm doing here. I will continue working against sexual exploitation and trafficking when we return to Canada. I now call myself an abolitionist. But sometimes, I get bogged down in the anger. Anger at pimps and brothel owners. Anger at the thousands of men who think they have the right to have sex with a child because they paid for it. Anger because I will never understand such a person. Anger at corrupt policemen and government officials who turn a blind eye at the very least, but more often profit directly, from this 'industry'. Anger at teams who come over thinking they can save the world in a two-week trip, flashing their cameras in survivors' faces ostensibly because putting a face on the problem will help people back home understand - shouldn't the mere fact that millions of children are being exploited and abused be enough to make people understand?
I haven't figured out yet how to deal with all this anger, but being aware of it has already helped me intentionally find outlets for my anger. Prayer, meditation and R & R will become more important in my personal disciplines. Before we leave, we'll be seeing counsellors here in Phnom Penh to deal with our secondary trauma, and will probably continue doing this in Montreal. Charlie says that I haven't been taking my anger out on him, so that's a definite plus! We've grown so much closer during the past 6 months and find rest and comfort in each other. Encouragement from family and friends have meant so much and have kept me sane! Thank you so much!
As always, I'm a work in progress...
Yesterday was our last day at Chab Dai. Working with this organisation has been an inspiring and challenging experience. Unexpectedly, the staff threw us a goodbye lunch and we got flowers and gifts! We are really sad to leave, but excited about the months ahead. Next time you hear from us, we'll be in Malaysia!
The Cambodia-Vietnam Friendship monument... this is what you could call ironic. "Friendly" feelings between Cambodians and Vietnamese are, umm, few and far between.
A stupa at Wat Ounalom, which is the center of Cambodian Buddhism. The intricacy of these monuments never ceases to amaze me.
For some reason, I like to take pictures of benches. I don't know all the reasons why, but I find beauty in them and what they represent.
A major stupa at Wat Phnom. The camera would have had to be much further back to get more than just the base!
