Expats Suffer From G.O.M.O.

One of my best friends here just gave birth, and it was a huge surprise. She was supposed to leave this past weekend for Bangkok, where she would hang out for a few weeks, waiting for the wee one to make his entrance at a Thai hospital. Well, wee one decided that 36 weeks was enough baking, thank you very much, and rushed into the world early one morning last week at a hospital here in Phnom Penh.

It has been an immense privilege to be close to our friends through this. I've mentioned before how friends become family in the expat community, so we truly feel like we are welcoming this new baby into the family! 

I think part of why I am so excited to be around for this is that we are missing so many things, big and small, that are happening with friends and family in other parts of the world. Instead of suffering from F.O.M.O. (which I also do, in general, to some extent!) I think many expats suffer from the Grief of Missing Out. We know we're missing things - births, parties, holidays, even deaths sometimes - and even though I would say we've made our peace about what it means to live overseas, we're still sad to miss out.

Missing all the people.

I'm in a What's App group with some of my Montreal friends, which they mostly use to make weekend and evening plans with each other. I haven't gotten around to leaving the text group since we came back from home leave, and I don't think I want to. I've made my peace about not being able to go to the pub after work or go hiking in the Laurentians this weekend, but I also like being a "fly on the wall" of their plan making. It helps with my grieving over these small missed events.

I have a few girlfriends in Montreal who are due in the next months, and it kills me a bit that I won't meet their babies for quite a while, that I won't be able to bring them frozen dinners, that I won't be able to drop by and hold the fort for a few minutes so they can, I don't know, go to the bathroom or something. I'm not afraid of missing out, I know I am, and I'm not sure it gets easier.

Do you suffer from G.O.M.O.? How do you handle it? 

5 Reasons We Do What We Do

This year we got 2 Thanksgiving dinners! One with dear friends, cozy chats, and amazing food, another at a good friend's restaurant, where we met new people, had equally amazing food, and almost got blown away by a tropical storm! Take a look at our stormy meal here!

Thanksgiving makes me reflect on the providence and blessing that has been our calling here in Cambodia, and recently got me thinking about all the many reasons we "ended up" here, doing what we do.

Sometimes when our parents tell people who don't already know us what we do, a common follow-up question is, "Do you fear for their safety?" And the answer is (mostly), "No, not really." And it's not because our parents are cavalier about our safety (there's a reason I don't show my Mom pictures of our whole family on a motorbike), but it's because the type of work we do in anti-trafficking is not really of the "unsafe" variety.

We're not directly doing investigations, rescue operations, or survivor aftercare. Charlie works in human resources, volunteer management, and organisational development, while I do a lot of research, strategic planning, and program support and development. 

We could be doing something else, somewhere else (yes, we are hoping our skills are transferable!) Why this? Why here? Why now? So here are 5 of the reasons we have chosen to do these things in anti-trafficking, in Cambodia.

One of the many gorgeous views from our apartment in Phnom Penh

1. We're not social workers, police officers, or counsellors

• In order to do direct work with survivors of trafficking, one usually needs a background in one of these or related areas. But there is a need for so many types of skills in the anti-trafficking movement. A movement needs all kinds of people to make change. So we have found a way to use our own skills to join the movement against exploitation, slavery, and abuse.

2. We are skilled, and are committed to using those skills to participate in change-making

• Through a long road of education, internships, mentoring, reading, and other work experience, we came to Cambodia and found we could apply skills learned elsewhere to contribute to the anti-trafficking mission. We love being part of something big, and we hope we're a part of making change in the world for the better.

3. We believe in doing with, not doing for

• One of our favourite writers is Bryant Myers, who wrote Walking with the Poor, and we are challenged to look at why and how we participate in development and human rights championing in ways that empower and strengthen our Cambodian colleagues. This often means doing more "behind the scenes" work, rather than frontline work.

4. We're passionate about how development and human rights are intrinsically linked

• We love discussions about human trafficking in the framework of human rights and development, and using our development background to understand the issues within the big picture of human capabilities. It is helpful to have people from many walks of life and work sectors come together to form a holistic view of community transformation.

5. We're excited about change and hope in Cambodia

• We don't know for sure how long we'll be in Cambodia, but we are both so in love with this country and find it incredibly exciting to be here during this time in its development. There is a lot to do, but there is also hope for the future, and it's exciting for us to be part of that.

We feel so thankful for being where we are, being challenged and contributing to something we believe in deeply.

Why do you do what you do? What are you thankful for?