How to Survive a Long-Haul Flight with a Toddler

In Winker Wonker's short life, she has taken over 20 flights and is becoming quite the jet setter. And we've learned (mostly the hard way) some of the ins and outs of travelling long distance with a baby/toddler.

Her first trip was at 3 months, first to Victoria to visit
her Auntie Christa and then on to Winnipeg to meet
all of Charlie's family. On each of the four legs, she screamed
bloody murder for the first 10 minutes, and then settled down,
much the relief of myself and probably all the passengers.
The Air Canada flight attendants were all fantastic, especially for
flights up until Winnipeg, when I was travelling alone with her.
She was cuddled and cooed at by a large number of Air
Canada employees and they went out of their way to give us
good seats, allowed me to have a seat next to me for free for
her car seat, and held her while I settled in on each flight.

A lot of the "travel with children" advice I have found on Pinterest and various parenting/travel blogs function on the assumption that you are flying from one part of Canada or the U.S. to another part of Canada or the U.S. And, honestly, I can't help but laugh out loud at parents complaining about or dreading a 3.5 hour direct flight with their toddler. OK, yes, travel of any length with a small child can prove hellish, but really, talk to me 24 hours into a 37 hour commute across the world.

Winker's first big plane trip was at 8.5 months when we moved to Cambodia.
After a 6 hour drive from Montreal to Toronto, we did 15 hours from Toronto to Taipei,
a 3 hour layover, then another 3 hours to Phnom Penh. The longer flight was tough,
but a cake walk compared to the second one, when she screamed the ENTIRE time.

So if you are planning to travel far with small but mobile children, probably with at least one layover, hopefully this post is for you! Bear in mind that my knowledge is mainly East/Southeast Asia-North America centric, but I think most of these tips can be generalised.

When I mentioned I was writing this post to a friend (who happens to not have any children yet), he asked, "Doesn't it mainly consist of: Step 1 - buy Children's Gravol; Step 2 - apply liberally?" If you're pressed for time and don't want to read the rest of the post, then YES! Medicate away! Unfortunately, even with copious amounts of Gravol, toddlers have a knack for a) reacting adversely to the drugs, b) throwing up the Gravol if prone to air sickness, and/or c) sleeping peacefully for part of a flight and then making up for lost time once awake.

Also, as many parents know, there's much more to air travel with a toddler than the time actually spent in the air.

Booking your flights:

• Most parents of toddlers with experience in long-haul flights that I have talked to have discovered it is actually much easier to fly during the day, rather than overnight. Despite our best intentions and wishes and prayers and pleading, toddlers will not go to sleep and sleep their regular night, just because the flight schedule coincides with their bedtime hour and sleep schedule. We used to be able to do this to some extent when Winker Wonker was a baby, but no more. Even if she does get some sleep, the best case scenario is you'll all get a couple hours here and there and arrive grumpy and sleep-deprived. This is bad enough when you're travelling alone, add an ornery 2-year-old to the mix... no fun. {More on sleeping below.}

• Your toddler no longer fits in the airline bassinet, but you can still try and snag some sweet bulkhead seats for the extra leg room and lots of floor space to play on. Sometimes you have to pay for these (which I would recommend!) but often if you show up early enough, parade your cute and oh-so-potentially-tantrum-having child in front of the check-in clerk, they may take pity on you and just give you the seats! A silver lining to having to pay for a seat for over-2-year-olds is the extra space, not to mention the extra checked and carry-on allowances.

• Make sure you book a toddler meal if it is available and, if your child still does fit in the bassinet, be double sure you book it way in advance. I have seen a single mother carry her child in a carrier for a 12-hour flight because she thought she could just request a bassinet at the gate counter, only to find out they were all booked - one by us, 4 months earlier... sorry! 

• Related to the above point, find out what is offered for people travelling with small children when you are comparing airlines. You might be surprised. For instance, EVA Air provides ALL DIAPERS and MILK (as well as food and toys) for the entire flight. Not having to travel with at least a dozen diapers in our carry-on was a Godsend!

Preparing for the flight:

• I would say a stiff drink and a Xanax, but I'm pretty sure it's illegal to give that stuff to a child.

• Goodbye, Ideals. OK, this one might be hard to swallow, and let me tell you, it was hard for me to come to terms with it, too. The best way you can prepare for and survive long-haul flights with a toddler is this: throw away all your parenting philosophies and discipline techniques. You like to keep your kid on a "3 meals/2 snacks per day" schedule? Give the sweetie a snack any time she asks for it. If you are breastfeeding, and you're down to a good 3 hour feeding routine? Nurse on demand (especially for takeoff and landing). You don't believe in allowing your child too much electronic device time? Run that baby until the battery dies (and praise the Lord if there's a charging outlet under your seat!)

• Nom, nom, nom. One thing I would say pack a lot of is snacks. Although airlines do provide food on longer flights, it's always helpful to have some of your child's favourite treats, so that 1) you know you'll have food along that she likes, and 2) you can use food as a calming/bribing/entertainment mechanism (Remember? This post is called How to Survive, not How to Stick to Your Guns on a Long-Haul Flight with a Toddler!)

• (Added since original post, with the help of a comment from a traveling parent) Always do pack Children's Tylenol, just in case your child does get sick on a flight. The only thing worse than having a feverish child at 35,000 feet is not being able to do anything about it! You might also want to travel with nasal decongestants and EarPlanes earplugs. As my commenter put it, "Kids Eustachian tubes are not fully developed and protecting their ears from air pressure changes is important."

Checking-in and boarding:

• I do not like arriving at the airport early. I would rather fly by the seat of my pants (no pun intended), rush through check-in and security and customs and get to the gate as people are boarding. My husband HATES that. One of the only ways we do not travel well together is the constant battle of the wills on when to leave for the airport. And then we had a kid. And husband won. Not only does getting to the airport early play in your favour for getting better seats {see above!} it can also be ridiculously stressful to navigate all the lines and waiting with a toddler and all her stuff. Seriously, I thought my sister accessorised. I guess it does get a little better when baby becomes toddler, but you're still managing a wriggling person, a stroller, her carry-ons as well as yours, jackets and sweaters, shoes that come off and are flung at will at the most inconvenient times, etc. You get the gist.

• Because you're getting to the airport early, chances are you'll get to your gate early as well, and you'll have to keep you kid entertained until your flight begins boarding. If you are travelling as a couple with a child, you can take turns sitting with the bags and walking/running/exploring the terminal with your toddler. If you're travelling with your child alone, keep a cart for as long as possible. We find it helpful to keep our toddler moving a lot, so that she tires herself out a bit before being forced into a confined space for many, many hours.

• You know when the gate clerk calls, "We will now be boarding elite, super elite, mega special elite, all awesome VIPs... and families with small children"? That's you, now!! Normally, I like waiting until most people have boarded before I do (honestly, I don't see what the rush is to get into an assigned-seating small space I will have to share with 150 people for 10 hours), but sometimes it is nice to take advantage of pre-boarding because it gives us time to get settled, put away our carry-ons, and organise ourselves for the flight. We try to have main things easily accessible: we put a few diapers, wipes, a drink and snack, a couple toys/books, and iPad in the seat pockets, and all the rest goes into the overhead compartment. If you have an extra seat, or are paying for one for an over-2-year-old, it is very convenient to put your main carry-on under the seat in front of her, having easier access to the bag while not impeding your own foot room.

Sleeping on the plane:

• Don't try. This one's a tough one, and I think the best way to approach it is to function under the assumption that your child will not sleep at all on a flight of any length. That way, if she does, you'll be pleasantly surprised! In our experience, getting Winker Wonder to sleep on a flight works best when we don't actually try and put her to sleep. We attempted doing a full bedtime routine on the flight, complete with changing into pyjamas, reading books, singing songs, and a bottle a milk, but she would have none of it. A lot of this has to do with her sleep style, which has always been to fall asleep alone in a dark room, so trying to get her to sleep in a lit cabin, surrounded by noises and people was not a good idea. On the other hand, when we just played quietly for a while, eventually she would tire herself out and go to sleep willingly. She has slept on a lot of flights, thanks to this "do nothing" method ;)

• Be wary of Gravol. Again, it depends on your kid, but in a lot of cases, toddlers have adverse reactions to baby Gravol or baby Tylenol. Instead of it making them groggy, they get as wired as a frat boy on uppers. We have given up on medicating our toddler on flights; at best it has done nothing. If your toddler is prone to motion sickness, though, Gravol can be very effective at preventing a vomit-everywhere situation, which nobody likes. For a great post on traveling with sickness-prone children, see this Babble article, Kids Who Vomit on Airplanes - and the Parents Who Travel With Them. (Added since original post) If you do have a child prone to travel or air sickness, you might want to pack an extra change of clothes, not just for the child, but for yourself as well!

Entertaining your toddler:

• Keep it Simple. There are so many sites with advice on what to bring in your carry-on for a toddler. On our first trip back to North America when Winker was 19 months old, we overpacked our carry-on with all kinds of fun things to keep her busy for the 10 flights we were planning for various legs of out trip. In the end, we actually ended up not even using most of them. I have one word: iPad. It will save your life. There are awesome toddler Apps and videos available for free, fill up your device before you go, you will not regret it! Our darling also played for hours at a time with the playdough we brought, was even happier when we played with her. Most of the other stuff we brought she used maybe once, if at all. One piece of advice that worked like a charm was to buy a new toy and present it to your toddler partway through a flight. She loved the novelty of the toy and played much longer with it than she did with her other "old toys." We found one new toy kept its novelty over many flights in the same trip, as long as we kept it in the carry-on and only took it out for flights.

If you want some entertainment ideas for flights with

toddlers, check out my Pinterest board. I've checked out

all the pins on the board, and only pinned the best ones.

Layovers:

• Activities galore. Sometimes you can't really choose your layovers, especially if you're trying to book the cheapest or fastest trip. Normally I would go for shortish layovers (2-3 hours if you don't have to pick up and re-check your luggage, enough time to get to your next gate), but sometimes that's just not possible. If I have the option of two similar length layovers, I will often go for the "funnest" airport. The Seoul airport is probably the best in the world for kids, including play areas, comfy chairs, an arts and crafts station, regular parade shows by "Korean royalty," and even free showers! If it's between this and just struggling to find an uncomfortable plastic seat to lay out on for 6 hours in a different airport, I would pay the slightly higher ticket price to go through Seoul.

Making friends at the Seoul airpport

• To hotel or not to hotel. Sometimes, arriving to your layover destination in the evening and catching your next flight in the morning is the best case scenario. Especially if you arrive just shortly before your child's regularly scheduled bedtime. Full night sleep potential! Even if you have a shortish layover (5-8 hours) I would absolutely suggest staying at an airport hotel. Back when you were 21 and backpacking around the world, with only some dreds and your parents' emergency credit card to your name, sure, you could sleep on the floor of an airport waiting for your next flight. No more. For your child's sake, for your sanity's sake, just book the hotel. Some airlines, like Qatar Airways, if you book the right flight class or just get some really nice customer service agent on the phone, will provide a hotel room for free if your layover is over a certain number of hours. Something else to take into account when comparing airlines.

Jetlag:

• Whereas for short flights one can prepare to a certain extent for changes in time zones, when you're traveling to the other side of the world, there is very little you can do to prepare your child for the time difference. There is literally 12 hours difference between Montreal and Phnom Penh, so we just prepare to have our lives and schedules turned upside down for a while upon arrival. Honestly, in most cases, our daughter adjusted faster than we did!

• Once you have arrived, there is a tricky balance to be struck with going with the flow and trying to reestablish a healthy routine. We try to get back to our daughter's sleep/eat/play schedule as soon as possible, while not being too hard on her and understanding that her body and mind are very confused. 

If you travel long distances with small children, do you have anything to add? What is your best advice for first-time long-haul flight traveling parents? Leave your comments below!

The Importance of a Learning Spirit

Originally published at Along the Paths of Justice, the Chab Dai team blog

Charlie and I recently met with two social entrepreneurs from Australia who are interested in replicating their very successful social enterprise cafés in Cambodia as a transitional employment and training venture for survivors of trafficking and exploitation. So much of our conversation was inspiring and interesting I thought it should be shared!

Their original idea coming in was to run a four-story center, including large café, training center, and housing for their employees. Through our conversation, and the couple others they had had in the less than 24 hours since they arrived in Cambodia, their minds were already changing to adapt to the environment!

Although he now works for an NGO, the lead on this project is first and foremost a businessman, and knows this is where his strengths lie! And he really loved Chab Dai’s ethos of collaboration, and the idea of sticking to one’s core competencies. When he heard that we already have a number of aftercare program members, whose competencies lie in counseling, trauma recovery, and survivor reintegration, he quickly started to re-evaluated his plan, and started thinking about how to build a business that could support those organizations.

He was also told by a number of people that sit-down, higher end cafés have already saturated the market in Phnom Penh, but when he visited a well located gas station coffee counter and saw a hundred clients waiting for coffee at 8:00 a.m., he knew this model could be successful in other key areas of the city.

They also recognize Cambodia has the largest number of NGOs of almost any country in the world and prefer to join the cause as a socially minded business, rather than an NGO doing business. One of their top priorities is financial sustainability, and using business to prepare young survivors to integrate into mainstream economic activity.

This new social business idea is still in its nascent stages, but what I loved about meeting these two visionaries were their flexibility and willingness to learn in a new environment. They are excellent at what they do in Australia, but recognize they need to adapt their model, marketing, and plan to the needs of both the Cambodian market and the survivor group with which they want to work.

This is the type of collaboration and open-mindedness we love to see in our partners, and we are excited to see the direction that they will take when they finalize their plans.