The Importance of a Space

Our Chab Dai book club just finished Stephen Covey's 7 Habits for Highly Effective People, and our final discussion on Habit 7 centred around self-care, or what Covey calls the Four Dimensions of Renewal:

We got to talking about how caring for ourselves may look differently in this country and our line of work than it would elsewhere. I asked Helen, who has been here for 15 years, what she does to maintain a healthy lifestyle and balance living in a developing context and working in such a difficult sector as counter-trafficking. Among other things, she mentioned that her stress levels have been much improved since she and her husband had their own house built outside the city; it is indeed a very tranquil place, with  big garden, a lovely large kitchen, and quiet surroundings. We enjoy retreating there from time to time!

Sam and me hanging out in "Auntie" Helen's pool

This got me thinking about the importance of a space, a place you can withdraw to, and how important that your home be a place of refuge and rest. I think this is especially important when your daily interactions will inevitably include at least one moment of discomfort, misunderstanding, or frustration. It's just the territory living overseas comes with.

Although I wouldn't want to live outside an urban area (I am a city girl through and through!) Charlie and I have put effort into creating an oasis we can retreat to as well as a welcome place for others to find fun and peace in. It even made it into our recently written family purpose statement!*

Six months after arriving in Cambodia, we moved out of our "perfectly fine" apartment, which was actually causing a lot of stress in our lives (overbearing landlady, plumbing and electric in constant need of repair, not feeling at home in our own home). It was only when we moved into our current home that I realised how much our living space was stressing me out and impeding my transition and settling in process.

We now live in a 5th floor flat that I LOVE, though still has its pros and cons. No elevator means everyone who comes over arrives out of breath, including me, and I often have to do it carrying grocery bags and 23 lbs. of squirmy toddler. On the bright side, being so high up on a main street means we're away from the street noise (and I'm getting legs of steel).

Pro: we're investing in artwork! This one is by British,
Phnom Penh-based artist, David Holliday
Con: I do not like the murky brownish orange that
covers our front gate and stair railings.

Half our apartment is a large covered balcony and we have an outdoor kitchen, which, despite my initial reservations, I actually love (for one thing, cooking doesn't heat up the whole house). It does mean more dust and occasional rainstorm invading our living space, but it also means cool evening breezes and a large communal area that is great for receiving people.

The biggest pro is it feels like home and is our oasis in the heart of a bustling neighbourhood - I'll tell you about up-and-coming ToPo another time ;) Although there are still many times we feel like outsiders in Cambodia, our apartment is a safe place that has helped us feel at home in this country.

Charlie & Sam enjoying a puzzle in our outdoor
living room/kitchen

*If you're interested in how we developed our purpose statement, we used a easy tool that has you answer a number of questions and narrow down your family priorities. You can find it here: http://bit.ly/PS3Hr7.